Because of You
by celestialstarynight
Summary: Artemis is having a hard time sleeping after a battle with Sportsmaster, so Black Canary tells her to write down how she feels on paper. Hints of Spitfire. Rated T beacuse of you.


**I was listening to this and I automatically thought of Artemis and her father issues. Hope you like it.**

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><p>Because of You<br>Kelly Clarkson

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><p><span>Artemis was having a hard time sleeping after a battle with Sportsmaster, so Black Canary thought it would be good if she wrote down exactly how she feels towards him on paper.<span>

_I will not make the same mistakes that you did.  
><em>I'm not going to turn into a villain. I'm not going to hurt people and tear families apart.  
><em>I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery.<br>_That had to be the worst decision you have ever made. You turned you back on your family.  
><em>I will not break the way that you did.<br>_Your mind's not in the same place. You are a broken man  
><em>You fell so hard.<br>_You're a villain to the core. I don't know how you could ever redeem yourself or make it right.  
><em>I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far.<br>_I never want to become what you are. You're an evil, soulless monster. I'm never going to do the things that you have done to make you that way. I got out of it.

_Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk.  
><em>I don't go anywhere but to school and back. Nowhere in Gotham that could have any connection to you.  
><em>Because of you, I learned to play it on the safe side so I don't get hurt.<br>_I know how to protect myself. I can set broken bones and put shoulders back in their sockets.  
><em>Because of you, I find it hard to trust, not only me, but everyone around me.<br>_I don't trust anyone on my team. I want to but I can't and it's all your fault.  
><em>Because of you, I am afraid.<br>_I'm afraid to tell them who I am. I'm afraid of what they will think.

_I lose my way, and it's not too long before you point it out.  
><em>You would criticize everything I did. You would always beat me when I messed things up. I was only nine.  
><em>I cannot cry because I know that's weakness in your eyes.<br>_If I let any tears escape while you beat me, it would just last longer.  
><em>I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh every day of my life.<br>_My only friend at school is Bette. If I don't fake a good enough smile at least once a day, she gets worried. I pick on Wally only because it keeps the team from worrying too.  
><em>My heart can't possibly break, when it wasn't even whole to start with.<br>_I wasn't scared when I was about to die in the simulation because, in a way, I welcomed being free from you. I never really had a life to begin with.

_Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk.  
><em>I keep my distance from everyone. I just go through the motions of my life for Mom.  
><em>Because of you, I learned to play it on the safe side so I don't get hurt.<br>_I don't take the risks that you did. I work hard with the team.  
><em>Because of you, I find it hard to trust, not only me, but everyone around me.<br>_I can't trust myself and my own feeling. Sometimes I can't even trust my instincts.  
><em>Because of you, I am afraid.<br>_I'm afraid to fail. You wouldn't allow failure, so I can't either. Failure means pain, and lots of it.

Artemis decided to add a part to Jade. The sister who abandoned her.

_I watched you die.  
><em>He started training you at nine. I was only four when my sister died. He killed you.  
><em>I heard you cry every night in your sleep.<br>_I heard you every night in the bed next to mine. Crying from the beatings.  
><em>I was so young.<br>_No four year-old should have to go through that. No one should have to see their older sister die on the inside and know, somehow, that that was their fate as well.  
><em>You should have known better than to lean on me.<br>_You thought it would help if I came to training. But it just made him beat you harder when you failed.  
><em>You never thought of anyone else.<br>_Did you think I wanted to know I was the cause of that?  
><em>You just saw your pain.<br>_You just knew the pain. You stopped being my sister after that. Six years later you left. You left me alone with him because you couldn't take it.  
><em>And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing.<br>_I can't take it either. I want to run too. But I won't abandon Mom like you left me.

She now talked to both of them. The other half of her broken family.

_Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk.  
><em>I don't become too close to my team mates.  
><em>Because of you, I learned to play it on the safe side so I don't get hurt.<br>_I'm sometime too cautious in my shots.  
><em>Because of you, I try my hardest just to forget everything.<br>_I don't want to remember you. But I can't let go because you go out of your way to pull me back.  
><em>Because of you, I don't know how to let anyone else in.<br>_Wally has asked me out before. I can't say 'yes' because he could leave me in an instant. I can't handle that.  
><em>Because of you, I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty.<br>_I want to let him in. I want to tell him 'yes'. But I can't.  
><em>Because of you, I am afraid.<br>_I'm afraid to give the little amount of my heart that you two left unbroken to him. I'm afraid to have it shatter like the rest.

_Because of you.  
><em>Jade. Because of you I don't have a sister. Because of you I can't tell the one boy I might actually like 'yes'.

_Because of you.  
><em>Lawrence. Because of you I don't have a father. I didn't have a childhood and I can't tell my team mates who I really am.

Artemis looked down at her work. The paper was quite long. She had had more to say than she thought. "After you're done writing, go outside; light a fire and burn the letter. Let go." Black Canary's voice echoed in Artemis's head. She took a deep breath and stood up. She grabbed the lighter from the kitchen and went outside. She built a small fire with a few sticks. When it was blazing, she stepped forward and was about to put the letter on the fire when she heard a voice from behind her.

"Arty?" Wally asked timidly.

"Hey Baywatch," she answered him quietly.

"What are you doing?" he asked, coming to stand next to her.

"Burning a letter I wrote."

"Why?"

"Canary told me to." And with that, she tossed the piece of paper onto the fire. Soon it was nothing but smoke and ashes.

"Hey Wally?" Artemis asked after they stood in silence for three minuets.

"Yeah Artemis?"

"Yes."

"Huh?"

"You asked if I wanted to get pizza with you last week. Yes."

"Great," Wally told her with a smile.

Artemis smiled back. The first one in a long time that was genuine.

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><p><strong>See, little hint of Spitfire at the end. Please review and tell me what you think. And if you liked this, check out my other songfic 'All It Is Is A Memory' or my story 'Shadow Tail'.<br>R****eview!**


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